Hamstrings, Calves, Forearms, Glutes, Lower Back, Middle Back, Quadriceps, Shoulders, Traps, Triceps, Hips
Kettlebell on ground between feet, handle facing perpendicular to feet. Straddle the kettlebell with feet shoulder width apart, toes pointed forward. Squat down by sitting back into your hips, grab the kettlebell with your left hand in the right corner of the handle. Arm straight, shoulders slightly in front of hand. Back flat and chest up with arms straight. Engage left lat (armpit muscle), while squeezing shoulder blades together
Pushing with the legs against the floor, extending hips and knees, to begin standing. Maintain back angle until the kettlebell reaches knees, once kettlebell is at knees, explosively extend the hips. Aggressively shrug the shoulder and pull kettlebell upward with arm. When the elbows approximately reach shoulder height and the body is fully extended, rotate the arm under kettlebell. Catch kettlebell on outside of arm with wrist straight. Lower the kettlebell by pulling elbow back, while squatting down to ground between legs. Repeat for prescribed number of repetitions
Keep kettlebell close to body during exercise. Do not jerk weight from floor; arise steadily then accelerate. Keep wrist straight and arm close to body during catch. Make sure good posture is maintained throughout the lift. Shift your weight back slightly more toward the heels as the kettlebell leaves the ground.
- Start in a quadruped position on your hands and knees
- Place toes on appropriate equipment for surface
- Hands under shoulders, fingers pointed out
- Straighten legs to plank position, top of push-up
- Tighten stomach and squeeze glutes
- Walk forward by moving one hand out in front of you and then repeat with the other hand, pulling your legs behind you
- Continue walking for required reps, distance, or time
- Minimize the rotation and lateral shifting of your hips as you move
- Don’t let your hip sag down, keep abs and glutes tight, stop movement if this happens
- Proper Equipment: Doll(s) for all surfaces, Valslides or furniture sliders for carpets, and towel for hardwood or tile
The Overzealous Trainer
He’s psycho! He screams at clients. Counts out loud! Which F*@ks up your counting!! Not sure if he can’t count in his head, I’m sure there’s more than enough room in there. He has to let everyone know he’s training and make you think he’s the best.
We all go to a gym for different reasons, but the end goal is fitness be it weight loss or gaining muscle. Let the girls do their cardio in peace, keep the flirting to a minimum and remember this…bars are made for socializing, gyms are made for exercising. If you’re truly interested in a woman, keep it to yourself. Whatever you do, for the love of Mike’s hairy beanbag, don’t hit on her, while staring at her butt when she’s doing hamstring curls.
Phil from Groundhog Day
This person can be timed to the minute doing the exact same workout everyday. Yes to the minute. Funny thing is they have been doing it for 2 years and they look the same. Things that make you go hmmmm?
The I Love the 80’s Member
Let’s get physical! Really, I’m sure that’s playing in their head along with “Eye of the Tiger”. They’ve got the spandex, headband, minus the leg warmers…Unless you’re lucky!
The Tough Guy
He’s most likely compensating for his penis, lack of that is. He makes you feel like you’re back in the playground. He always has something to prove. He challenges you and always has to lift heavy to show off and he grunts with every rep!
If you missed part 1 click here
If you missed part 2 click here
This person is surrounded by mirrors, checking themselves out when they’re lifting weights. A regular Arnold they may think? They flex and pose. Turn to the side. Flex and pose. Turn to the other side. Flex and pose. Usually a regular provider of a laugh. By the way, that cut off tee is not helping you out!
A typical rest period between sets is 30 seconds to two minutes. An average working set takes around 30 more seconds. So how is it that you’re still sitting there, staring into space after 20 minutes? If you’re going to idle, the cushions on the seats at the juice bar are more comfortable than the ones on the bench.
The Fitness Posse
There is no way all six of you are going to bench press and/or spot one another at the same time. There’s also no way you’re going to stay focused and get in a quality training session when you’re busy filling your boys in about your crazy weekend in Sioux Falls. Come at different times, work in twos, train in different areas. Save the team bromances for the post-gym bender. Your entourage is crowding the gym floor and ruining everyone else’s flow.
They’re most comfortable at home where their furniture is covered in plastic. Once inside the gym, he will only touch the equipment with paper towels and mists himself (and the equipment) often with his own bottle of customized, industrial strength anti-bacterial spray. Their preferred gym attire is a haz-mat suite. (Latex gloves would be too obvious.) The Germ-a-phobe will never, under any circumstances, ever use the restroom while at the gym.
If you missed part 1 click here.
If you missed part 3 click here.